The legendary Kareem Abdul-Jabbar once said, “There’s a ball. There’s a hoop. You put the ball through the hoop. That’s success.”
Personally, I don’t really think there is such a thing as success or failure in the arts at all. GASP! I know, I know, I’m sooooo radical. But let’s really think about it for a moment. We perform works by “successful” composers, who often died penniless from venereal diseases. Florence Foster Jenkins sang at Carnegie Hall, so does that make her a very successful opera singer? Thomas Kinkade was one of the wealthiest artists of all time, possibly ever. Does that make him better than Van Gogh?
Unless you have some bizarre obsession with poorly painted stone cottages, your answer is probably no. But to me, these things highlight the paradox of art and success; how we define it, what it looks like, and who decides whether or not we are “successful” as artists. I have a hard time seeing myself as a successful artist, but I am (and so are you). And I’ll tell you why—I put the ball through the hoop. I sing opera. Maybe Mr. Abdul-Jabbar didn’t mean it quite that literally, but maybe he did. In an impacted market with fewer opportunities and less cultural relevance than ever, just singing opera, period, is a massive accomplishment that the vast majority of humans cannot achieve.
So I’m not yet wearing bespoke Dior gowns and rubbing elbows with New York’s elite inner circle. But you know what? Neither are most singers, and frankly, I’m not really into the big galas and red carpet anyway. And if that IS what your career looks like, then serious congratulations to you! This post isn’t really for you, but I know you probably worked your ass off to get where you are, and that you would never think less of a colleague for not commanding as high a paycheck or not singing at the biggest houses. The most famous opera singers I’ve met would never do that; partially because they realize their incredible good fortune, and also because to get to that level, you usually can’t be that petty.
I care about the singing, and as long as I’m doing that well, I am a success. I have watched some of the most talented singers I’ve ever known walk away from this career for a variety of reasons, and THAT is success, too, because the clarity needed to recognize that you don’t want a life of endless frustration, sleeping on airport floors, crushing disappointment and financial struggle, and the courage required to do what’s best for yourself…it’s just choosing a different route. Every time I hear someone say they've failed at singing, I just say, "choosing a different road to success isn't failure."
So, is it just a matter of shifting your perspective? Yes and no. One *can* be unsuccessful at singing opera. If you never practice but demand instant acclaim and reward for all your hard work, if you’re impossible to work with and don’t hold yourself accountable for your own behavior, if you perform selfishly and don’t give your best effort, those are all good ways to not be a successful singer, in my opinion. But I do believe there is a choice, and that most people inevitably will choose success.
Here are some things to think about as you ponder that choice, and some ways to cultivate your own success.
Good art is everywhere
So you’re not singing at a certain big name opera house with fancy chandeliers. BFD. Most of the best singers I know aren’t singing at the most famous international theaters. The best Lucia I have ever heard was singing in a former adult movie theater in the San Fernando Valley. I once heard a homeless man sing an aria so beautifully that I was a weeping, sobbing mess afterwards (turns out he used to be a professional singer, you can read more about him here). I have been to performances in people’s apartments, lofts, and even swimming pools that shook me to my core. I reject the idea that good art is only at the highest levels, mostly because I have seen far, FAR too much evidence to the contrary, but also because elitism is like a bad chest cold that opera has had for far too long and can’t seem to get rid of. Start separating yourself from the idea that success is only equivalent to working at the biggest and highest profile houses—it’s great if that happens for you! But good art isn’t just happening there.
Work is work is work
Let me make this perfectly clear—I don’t care what kind of gig it is. I don’t care how much you’re getting paid. I don’t care if you wore a costume that had holes in the armpits and you had to awkwardly adjust your staging to avoid the audience seeing them, and I don’t care if the set is made entirely of repurposed egg cartons. Are you singing for people in a public setting and doing it well? Congratulations, you’re a successful opera singer. It’s easy to get discouraged when society and social media present you with only ONE image of success, and it’s a photo of a Kardashian diving into a pile of money like Scrooge McDuck. If you got into opera for the money, you’ve probably already figured out that there isn’t very much, and there are maybe twenty people in the world who are actually making significant coinage doing it. And a lot of them are exhausted, overworked, and just trying to make enough so that they can do crazy things like actually retire, buy property, or pay for their kids’ college, how crazy! So don’t let the paycheck influence how you feel about what you’re doing, you’re in good company. (Next post will be about finding those magical side jobs that help you pay the bills and keep singing, stay tuned.)
You can dream bigger
The artists I look up to the most and seek guidance from are usually more than one thing. I’m not sure why some people still think opera singers need to JUST be opera singers in order to have integrity as an artist, but honestly, that world doesn’t exist anymore. I hate talking about being a millennial, but one really great thing about us is that we are much quicker to adapt than previous generations. Most of us have had three or four jobs since college, and most of the instagram accounts that we follow have three or four occupations listed in the bio, so don’t limit yourself to one thing. You wanna write a book? Do it. Start a business? Do it!!! Make a line of artisanal baby clothes woven entirely from shower drain hair if you want, it’s 2018! There are more resources than ever to start new ventures online, or you can reach out to someone for help. You’d be surprised at how helpful even complete strangers can be, particularly if you offer to pay them a little bit for a consultation. If opera isn’t giving you the creative fulfillment that you need, don’t wait around for it. Seek it elsewhere.
Sometimes you need to be a honey badger
Some of you may have noticed that I have a honey badger tattooed on my arm. For those not familiar with the noble honey badger and their ability to not care what anyone thinks, please consult the YouTube video here, and enjoy. His name is Leonard, after Bernstein. I got him after a particularly devastating interaction I had with someone I thought very highly of, who told me my singing wasn’t “professional quality” and to go into artistic administration instead, because I would “never have a career”. I had tried for years to make this person happy, and to make them believe in my talent. I was completely devastated, and I cried (not quietly) in a Starbucks for at least an hour afterwards. But it taught me an important lesson. If I start worrying about making every single person in the business happy, I will completely lose my mind. I no longer care what that person thinks about me or my level of success, I just can’t. If you start letting other people define what success is for you, you’ll likely never feel successful. I have a very short list of people I trust and listen to, and the rest is just noise. Leonard is my permanent reminder that my success is not dependent upon the wildly fluctuating opinions of everyone else.
Professional lurking is bad for you
If this were a live speech I was giving, I would now pull out a megaphone, turn the volume to 11, and say this: DO NOT COMPARE YOUR CAREER/LIFE/SUCCESS/NUMBER OF FOLLOWERS to ANYONE ELSE’S!!! This, my friends, is the path to personal misery and spending hours of your life that you will never have back on your phone/computer eating entire sleeves of cookies, wondering why your life isn’t perfect like THAT singer’s life. Our social media accounts are full of lovely, beautiful lies we tell the world so we can feel better about ourselves. And photos of cats. Opera careers do not function within the same timeframes as other opera careers. Some people work more or less at different times. Apples and oranges, as they say. Don’t let society’s gross obsession with youth affect how you feel about where you are--this is opera. 45 year old women portray 16 year old girls on a regular basis. If you get wrapped up in watching what everyone else is doing, then you’re not working on your own projects. I (embarrassingly recently) decided to stop ALL lurking, full stop, and I cannot emphasize how much better it has made my life. If you take away one thing from this post, let it be that.
Disclaimer: this advice is not one size fits all. This is what works for me, it might not for you. Take what you need, leave what you don’t. It took me YEARS of beating myself up, wondering what I did wrong, long talks with good friends/mentors, angry jogging and hours and hours of soul searching to get to this place. Of course sometimes I feel like a failure, but when I get off track, these things help me realize that no one can truly make me feel that way except myself, and I think that’s worth something. No one can take away your accomplishments or your abilities. You owe it to yourself to be a success, in whatever way you choose. Now go be one.